Friday, 08 December 2017 12:17

Healthy Relationships Featured

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I used the pop Quiz to analyze my friend’s relationship. The principle of the pop quiz was to determine whether she is in a healthy relationship. My friend, Mary, and her boyfriend, Jim has been dating for almost two years. Whereas they have had a rosy relationship, the frequency of arguments and shouting scenes has been common. The relationship score, after the completion of the quiz, was at 1-2 points. A relationship with a 1-2 point score is an indicator that the relationship has some indicators of abuse.  According to the quiz, my friend’s relationship is not healthy. However, the relationship can be salvaged if my friend and her partner are ready to change.

There are several healthy aspects of my friend’s relationship. First, neither my friend nor her partner has ever threatened to harm the other, in a fit of anger.  Arguments may be regular; however, the arguments do not escalate to physical fights. My friend and her spouse also keep their domestic problems to themselves. They do not engage in public insults and name-calling. It is evident that my friend and her partner respect each other. My friend is also very social, and her partner’s friends love her. As a social person, my friend always invites us and her boyfriend’s friends for dinner and other social activities around their home. The couple is very good at entertaining guests, thus loved by all their friends. There are also some negative aspects in their relationships. First, my friend is very jealous and in more than one instance; she has accused her partner of flirting or cheating. This is one of the factors that push couples into arguments. It is evident that Mary has trust issues, which could have arisen from an incident that probably involved another woman. My friend also admits that she is concerned over her partner’s sudden interest in his looks.  The boyfriend began going to the gym three months ago with the intent of adding his muscle. Whereas the changes may be based, on a decision to embark on a healthy lifestyle, my friend perceives it as an attention seeking strategy. The boyfriend has also had a complete overhaul of his wardrobe. When my friend questions her partner, her partner shuts her out and does not give her any reasons for the change. I believe the silent treatment is the main cause of their persistent conflict and misunderstanding.

The results of the relationship reveal the need for communication between partners. My friend and her boyfriend have a mirage of problems because of their lack of communication. My friend does not like the silent treatment that her boyfriend gives her. She believes her boyfriend uses it as an escape strategy when confronted with a delicate question/issue. I have learned that communication is essential in any relationship. My friend’s relationship has several warning signs that indicate the relationship can escalate to abusive levels.  Jim needs to be open to his girlfriend (Mary) and explain his actions.  In some instance, a heated argument could have been avoided with a simple but genuine response. Mary and Jim love each other, but they need to address the cause of mistrust and jealous spats that have affected their relationship.

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